6 Habits to Adopt for a Happier You!
- Bethany Pike
- Jul 3, 2020
- 7 min read
Over the last few days, I’ve really been thinking about how much my mindset has changed for the better since the start of this year and how much happier it has made me! This in turn has inspired me to write about it, and while I’m no expert on these things, I think it can be useful to know that you’re not alone in how you feel and there are ways to help make it better! Obviously, if you feel that you may have a mental illness or something similar, it is definitely best to seek professional care.
Before my “big change”, I almost constantly felt stressed, anxious and was pretty much always putting myself down for my looks, how much work I did (or didn’t do), what other people thought of me etc etc etc especially since going to university. I think I fell into a bit of a rut, particularly in my first year, going through the ordeals of living in a new city where I didn’t know anyone, trying to cope with the seemingly endless deadlines and trying to balance work and studying whilst still maintaining a social life…Honestly it’s all harder than it looks!
While uni has been an amazing experience, it made me realise just how easy it can be to fall into episodes of stress, anxiety, and sadness, even over the smallest things in life. Let me tell you, I’ve had my fair share of crying outbursts in my university library, one of my highlights being when the coffee machine was broke.
So, on New Year’s Eve, I made myself a resolution to start focusing more on myself and improve the way I dealt with things that came my way.
Here are the 6 ways I went about helping myself live a happier life…
Be grateful
Now this isn’t the kind of “Get over it, there are kids starving in the world” grateful that some people tend to force on you when talking about your problems. I’m talking about being grateful for the things that personally affect you.
By focusing on what is going well in your life and savouring those moments, even for just a minute, it can really put things into perspective. I’ve found keeping a log of things I’m grateful for every time I feel sad or anxious has really settled my moods… it could be something as simple as a comfy bed or being able to spending time with your pet but it just goes to show that more often than not, the good outweighs the bad that’s going on.
Meditation- particularly self-love courses and positive affirmations
While meditation may not be for everyone, it’s definitely worth a try! Over the last 7 months, I’ve followed many meditation courses but the one that struck home the most was the self-love courses.
I feel like self-love is something everyone has struggled with at some point in their lives. I’ve been really trying to change the way I see myself and how I talk to myself (I promise I’m not a crazy woman) and by following these mediations, I’ve really noticed a huge difference in my self-esteem. Granted, there are still off days, it wouldn’t be human to feel amazing all the time! But it’s about learning that we are more than just our clothes, our looks and our thoughts and learning how to put distance between those negative thoughts and ourselves in order to have a more rested and confident mind state.
In my opinion, changing that little voice in our heads from “I’m so ugly” to “Everyone is beautiful in their own way” or “I’m not as smart as them” to “I might not understand X , but I know a lot about Y” is such a life changing skill and allows you to accept those “flaws” as new strengths.
Acknowledging bad moods
A bad mood isn’t like a cut or scrape that you can just cover up temporarily with a plaster, it’s more than that. You have to address these emotions! Of course, the only reasonable solution seems to be avoiding negative emotions because well they don’t feel good but in the long term it only makes these problems much bigger.
Now, what I’m about to say may shock you but in my experience, feeling bad can actually be a good thing! Once you come to terms with what triggers these feelings and understanding what your coping mechanisms are, it becomes much easier to learn how to control your moods and change up how you cope if it’s something that could be more damaging than helpful.
One of the ways I’ve learned to do this, is by visualising my problems as a different person. By giving it an identity that wasn’t my own, I’ve been able to distance myself from it and make better judgements on how to deal with said problem as well as being able to comfort and give advice to myself as I would if it were one of my friends.
Music – make happy playlists
When I was feeling sad, I would instinctively put on a sad playlist and just wallow in it. Unsurprisingly, this never made me feel better. Even on the average day I listen to music 24/7 and never really stopped to notice how it made me feel until one day when boredom struck me and I decided to organise my one giant “songs I like” playlist into separate mood-themed playlists. Who knew that upbeat music stimulates your brain to release those feel-good hormones? (Just common sense that passed me by? Okay then…)
Whether you’re into pop, rock, EDM or alternative genres, you can rely on your favourite song to make you feel happier, even if you’ve had the worst day.
Here’s some links to my personal favourites for feeling good, getting motivated and even having a little boogie in the shower:
They are collaborative so if you feel like I’ve missed something significant from them, add them on!
Get into nature
I’ve always loved going for walks and more recently running. Just being outside in the fresh air and exploring the world around us. This has only grown over the course of lockdown as I’ve found myself going out much more frequently and for much longer periods of time in order to combat anxieties about the uncertainty of the world right now.
I find that going with friends/family, is a real mood-booster as you get to spend quality time together and really focus on what matters to you but sometimes you just need that all important alone time, and there’s nothing better than taking a stroll alone!
When everything is quiet you can just take in what is surrounding you and your mind goes blank, completely at ease. It becomes hard to focus on those problems that were buzzing around in your head 5 minutes ago.
However, from time to time, these thoughts might not go away so easily, and that’s okay! Even in this situation, going for a walk/run or whatever allows you more space (literally and mentally) to think about how to deal with the issue and come up with more rational solutions.
Self-care routines
Who would you say you spend the most time with? Your parents? Friends? Well you’d be wrong…it’s yourself! Day in, day out you are the one who experiences your life, your attitudes, your feelings, and everything else so it’s super important to keep yourself healthy!
In case you’ve been living under a rock, self-care is anything we do deliberately to take care of our mental, emotional, and physical health. Pretty vague huh? This could be anything from a bit of exercise to knitting yourself a jumper.
In my opinion, self-care is such a simple concept, yet I believe it can be harder to put into practice than it seems. Sometimes I feel like I’m wasting my time trying to follow my self-care routine, as it’s time I could be spending working or studying and I don't doubt that many other people feel the same. However, it is so important to understand that self-care is an UNSELFISH act that we all need in order to look after ourselves and avoid burning out.
I think many people do want to focus on their self-care, but find it difficult to know how, so these are some of the ways I have found that effectively allow me to practice self-care. Although, this doesn’t necessarily mean they are right for everyone, but just because something doesn’t work doesn’t mean you should give up! It’s a total trial and error to find what personally helps you!
My top self-care strategies:
Luxurious bubble baths with relaxing music and maybe even some candles if I’m feeling in an extra “treat yourself mood”
Yoga classes – My friend had got me into this around November time and I haven’t looked back! It was such a relaxing way to destress for an hour.
Mindfulness meditation – My words of advice, don’t give up if you still feel your mind races rather than settles… it takes time and practice to be able to meditate!
Mindful colouring – This is one of my absolute favourites, it’s such a satisfying activity! Stick on some instrumental music and get the mood lighting going for optimal relaxation…
Watching a sitcom – Something that is light, funny, and doesn’t require too much attention is perfect for quick mood improvements!
If you still don't know what to do, I hugely recommend following BlessingManifesting on instagram/twitter whatever social media platform you have or go to her website! It's full of info/challenges you can follow for example this nice and easy one here:
I’ve tried to keep this as short and sweet as possible as I know how overwhelming it can be to read pages and pages of info that ultimately just falls out of your head and this is one of those topics I could probably talk about for days because of its importance.
I hope this has inspired you a bit to reflect on your current state of mind.
Maybe you’re already on your pursuit of further happiness or you’re just starting, but I’d love to hear about your journey! What’s been working best for you?
𝒰𝓃𝓉𝒾𝓁 𝒩𝑒𝓍𝓉 𝒯𝒾𝓂𝑒
Bethany x
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